people still use tumblr.
WOWWWWEEEE has so much changed since the last time i’ve been on here..!
immersed in a somber melody that’s reverberating over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. searing convictions, one after the other, have been resonating in my heart all day and just can’t be ignored..
break my heart for what breaks Yours.
even when we mutter a myriad of bold prayers without understanding the gravity of our cries, with only a feeble grasp of the impeccability with which You answer.. oh God, how You remember even our faintest whispers.
why must i always be slapped in the face so brutally in order for my narcissistic self to just take a step back and be reminded that Life isn’t about me. that i am so incredibly blessed, simply for knowing the love of Christ. that He has called me to so much more.
the intensity with which this has struck me might be a bit strange considering i never really knew you, but the fact that i even recognize your face and remember you from my math discussion last year has left me so.. overwhelmed. so completely mortified and heavy-hearted. and all i can say is that i’m sorry. on behalf of anyone who knew you, yet apparently didn’t really know you- i’m sorry. for having such a myopic perspective and for being so egotistical, for coming to this realization too late, for the pain you must have been going through- i’m sorry.
May 8, 2012. Rest in Peace.
you’ve touched the lives of many..
every soul has an ever so desperate yearning to be heard, to be comforted, to be healed.
love. everything comes down to Love.
Lord.. You’ve truly shaken me..
now have Your way in me God.
"Go to any large city in the world with thousands of people in the street, walk down the sidewalk, stop, and look up. Pretty soon you’ll have twenty people around you looking at you and looking up and trying to look at what you’re looking at. That’s how you direct worship. That people look at you only long enough to try to find out what you’re looking at - what has you so mesmerized."-Paul Washer (via michaelteng)
i love fluidity and feminine daintiness.
i love the composition of flowery eloquence.
i love expressions, emotions, harmonic and incongruous dynamics.
i love reading.
specifically, i love reading people’s writing.
writing requires a different intuition than the logistic technicalities that the left brain offers; it is intuitive, thoughtful, and subjective. it’s enticing.. it’s beautiful. writing strives to produce a sense of rhythm in which words and sensations are used to punctuate an avenue of encapsulating tangibility.. it transcends the mundanes of everyday into a realm of consecrated sanctity; it ebbs and flows, delights and enlightens. it has the ability to be deceptive and mysterious yet curiously familiar, thus somehow insulting and stimulating at the same time. profound in its pronunciation, every word has the capacity to illuminate, manifesting itself into potential for transformation of the writer, the reader, and the topic in which it aims to depict.
more than anything though, to write is to allow oneself to be vulnerable. to write is to provide a window of opportunity for an audience to either gaze in awe or to critique upon the engagement of the innermost musings of one’s soul.
you see, writing requires boldness.
since when did the thought of writing, even blogging, provoke such a strong sense of fear?
since when did the idea of even the slightest glimpse of vulnerability become so crippling?
intriguing, isn’t it?
that one is truly a product of one’s experiences…
but even through all the wrestling and struggling and fighting, through the confounding daze surrounding the episodes of the present and the past, through the relentless inner battle of the discretion of the mind and the urgings of the heart to deny and to reject and to cling ever so desperately onto even that feeble hint of senseless hope— in the midst of the chaos of it all:
my beloved, beloved daughter..
and for a split second all of it—all the fear and pain and brokenness and ravenous appetite for the oh so fleeting fulfillment of these fleshly desires and worldly comforts and securities and all the other introspective “ands”—just looks so so incredibly small. and there is a release of peace and hope that maybe, just maybe, He has the power to heal, to transform, to liberate.
so the leap of faith was taken.
was this post not a result of that leap in itself?
“…but perfect love casts out fear” 1 John 4:18
so very fascinated by the intricacies of life.
this is a blah and superrrr random post but i’m just in a happy mood because chrissy blogged for once in his life!!! powerful and very eloquently written might i add-
there is seriously something so intriguing about seeing someone translate his/her thoughts into words.. attempting to visualize one’s thought process is so.. provocative, for lack of a better word hahahaha. i mean this fascination is probably just amplified because i’ve been so mesmerized by the complexity of the human mind these days….. but still.
when i take even the slightest glimpse into the shallow depths of it all………
i can’t help but to be struck with utter awe of the Lord. how????? hahhaha completely dumbfounded. that’s literally all i can say. seriously..how!
man. can more people pleaseeeee blog hehe.
indisputably pride produces an almost pompous identity through God-given gifts such as intelligence; breeds the fanatical thirst to prove oneself; induces the longing to boast—either subtly, shamelessly, or sometimes even subliminally; and accentuates an elitist attitude, even if it is seemingly faint.. but one must realize that obstinance, anger, hardness of heart, rebellion against God, etc. also often stem from this one overarching principle of pride.
one of the scariest things about pride is that oftentimes, it seeps into the crevices of one’s heart so quietly, so stealthily.. to the christian, sometimes masked by “righteous” deeds, sometimes under the banner of “love,” and many a time in the midst of allegedly good intentions.
a demeanor no longer of mememe but of You, You, You.
"A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."
to constantly re-evaluate the deepest recesses of the heart.
and to constantly thank you for grace.
i realized today that i really like college!
i mean.. of course i miss the comforts of home like no other.
i miss it i miss my famireeee my lovers and my friends :(
but the little things..
like being alone and independent and walking around and gazing in awe at His beautiful creations and enjoying the simple pleasures that i so easily take for granted.
like grocery shopping.
i really enjoy grocery shopping :)
can’t wait to get my oooown place to buy new things and new furniture and new decorations and live a happy happy life with a happy happy family.
the future is an exciting thing, indeed it is!